Getting frustrated but still holding out hope

  Today's appt wasn't what we'd hoped for. There are 2 small cysts on the same ovary as before. Lining was measuring 10+ & my E2 levels were elevated (177). Carrie and I are both getting frustrated. The Lupron clearly states it can cause cyst formation..so why aren't we doing something different?? Not only that but it seems like they keep wanting me to go in during or just after my periods..well that's when you're lining is usually thicker then normal!? I still find it ironic my 1st couple go arounds at this I had to stay on meds longs because my lining wouldn't thicken up enough and now we're having the opposite problem. Not only that but in the next med I start is taken to thicken the lining...so why it has to be thin now just to get thicker is beyond me...
 About the time I'm ready to scream and yell (not that it'd do any good...) the Dr's office calls and says we aren't cancelled we're just going to prolong the cycle. So I'm to stay on Lupron, same dosage & go back in next week for a sono & repeat E2 to see if anything has changed. Waiting on them to call me back to schedule it.
 So for now we wait. And pray.

Dreams of Sugarplums

 Merry Christmas everyone! I had yet another dream last night. This time I was in the "IVF lab" which resembled more of a high school science classroom. Not sure why on earth I was there for this part but they'd just retrieved one egg from IM and were getting ready to  fertilize it. I was asking them why only one and they said they were going to do one at a time rather then retrieve a bunch at once. They put it in what looked like a miniature incubator..the egg looked like a bar of soap in this thing!? Anyhow before my eyes it starts transforming and ends up looking like an actual embryo in a matter of a seconds. That was all I can remember of the dream but I will take it as a good sign we get to retrieval this time :)
 On the meds front I've been back on Lupron about 1.5wks. And because of stopping BCP's I'm also on period #2 in as many weeks so I've officially gone a bit coo-coo over the past few days. Wednesday I go back in for another E2 check & sono. If all is clear (no cysts!, thin lining & low E2 levels ) then I get to start Estrace!!

Dreams can come true!

  So last night I had dream I had twin boys again. Granted they looked like my 1st set of surro-twins but it wasn't them because I remember thinking they looked similar. It was a fast dream but they were also bigger then L&W were. And one pooped on me while changing him..

 Anyhow..Lupron's going fine. This will be day #6 on it. Not quite as hormonal as last time but I've been getting teary eyed over Christmas commercials easily. I've been pretty sick too so maybe that's just overshadowing the side effects.

 Tomorrow is my last BCP already (hopefully the last one EVER)!!

Today is a GOOD Day!

  First of all, IM gets to go home from the hospital today. YAY!
And...my appt today went great!! As if being nervous wasn't bad enough I had to wait forever to get the sono done. Keep in mind my ovaries like to hide so much that the Dr asks for my help in finding them..lol No cysts to be seen though! Everything looked great and lining was only a 4 so that's a big improvement too. I start Lupron again tomorrow! Bring the hormones on!!
 Estimated time line would be to go back on 12/29 and have a recheck sono & E2 level. If all is well I'd start Estradiol that day. Carrie would start hers about a week later. Retrieval around the 19th and transfer around the 24th : )

 Please continue the prayers and ++ thoughts for us! Here's to making and baking a baby or two in January!! This would put us at an EDD of late Sept/Early Oct.

Just checkin' in

  I haven't posted in forever! Unfortunately there isn't really anything to update as of yet. Last week was IM & my Hubby's bdays! IM is in the hospital with pneumonia right now so any prayers & positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated : ) We need her home and healthy in hopes we can get to making some great eggs soon!
 Next Tuesday I go in to check up on the cyst from our last appt. I've been on BCP's for a month now so hopefully it's gone and we can get to cycling again! I'm not sure what the plan is if it's still there but at this point I'd sure be willing to let them aspirate it or whatever needs to be done to get rid of it. I will post again after the appts. Here's to NO more cyst, thin lining & low E2 levels!!

~Stacey~

2 bad news posts in a row :(

   We've been cancelled for now : ( I have a large cyst on my left ovary. On the plus side at least we know now that's the cause of my levels being high and lining being thick (today it measured between 10-13) but it has to go down or away before we can move forward. I am to stop Lupron and start back on BCP's tonight. Ideally the BCP's will keep me levels down and shrink the cyst. I go back on December 14th for another sono/E2 check to see if the cyst has at least gone down but hopefully gone away!
  There are a few +'s to waiting til January. IM can finish up school without stress and we can get through the holidays appt free and start the new year cycling again. I admit I'm really bummed about all this but it's just a little kink in our plans. Just have to keep ++++!

Well hmmpphh!

 Today's appt didn't go quite as well as we wanted. My lining was up to almost 7mm and still showed uterine fluid (since I'm just getting off my cycle). We wanted to see <5. My E2 levels are elevated as well (159) which just means I need more Lupron and can't start Estrace yet. She said it's not really a big deal and this shouldn't delay anything since IM hasn't started her meds yet.
 So until then I will do lots of jumping jacks and think thin lining thoughts! For now meds stay the same and back on Tuesday for a repeat sono.

Woah those are big!!

 IM got her cycle calendar today..man she has a LOT more appts then me! I tried to tell her though the more you have to do the faster this is going to go for us, well hopefully : ) This time next month we should  be getting a whole bunch of eggs! One or two of which I hope to make a great little nest for over the next 9 months!
 I also got my Progesterone in the mail today. Just looking at those needles make my glutes cringe!! But hey they're only 23gauge (1.5") needles...OUCH!
            
       Here's a pic of a 5 day blastocyst. Amazing what we start out as isn't it!

I've gone AWOL..and it's a good thing!

 Abbreviation catch up: AWOL = A woman on Lupron.

Today is day 5 of Lupron. Injections have been easy although I am a tad bit moody. I guess a good hint of that was when I got back in bed at 1 this morning and God forbid Hubby's hand was on my pillow and I thought about biting it off..LOL Thankfully he was passed out and doesn't know about any of it anyway! Tonight is also my last BCP!! The nurse sent my calendar that Carrie & I have been anxiously awaiting and apparently it was worth the wait.
 Looks like transfer will be a week EARLIER then we'd expected!! Not only that but retrieval & transfer should fall right around Carrie & my hubby's birthdays : )
  This move's my appt to start Estrace up to next week!!

Dear Lupron~ Please be nice to me!

 Today I had a mock transfer done. I had to down a gallon of water to make sure my bladder is beyond full while they guide a catheter through the cervix and measure depth to the back of the uterus. And thankfully I didn't pee on the Dr in the process! That went fine and baseline sono was great too. No cysts and lining was thin-2.97mm (which is what we want for now ).
 I start Lupron tonight (injections with a tiny insulin needle). Granted it can make you act like you have severe PMS! Thankfully I don't tend to have a bad reaction to it. So fingers crossed : ) Or in case I'm mean to you I blame the meds!! LOL! The nurse is sending in Rx's for all the other meds and my last BCP is Tuesday. Back again on the 17th for sono and E2 level check.

  Let's get needle happy!!

Ready...set....go...!!!

  Signed contracts are in the mail and it looks like we will be starting meds by the end of THIS week!! OMG!! : ) I go in this Friday for a sono, mock transfer & to go over meds. If all stays on track we'll be looking at a mid-December transfer. December transfers seem to be my thing..lol
  I can't think of a better Christmas present!!

Legal Smegal

  Contract is 3/4 of the way done!! Hubby is getting his part done tomorrow and then *maybe* we can get started on the fun stuff in the next week or 2 : )

It's a match!!

 It all started with an email from someone who knew my FIM. She asked me if I would consider doing another surrogacy and told me about her SIL who has CF. (This is probably where that list of acronyms comes in handy :)) I really don't remember much from that time..it was a couple years ago but somehow we got back in touch last year. After talking for a while with Carrie, (my IM) and getting to know each other via email we waited to see what her Dr's decided on whether she could carry herself or not. The main concern was her lung function during pregnancy and how it would affect her post-partum as well. In the end it was decided surrogacy was their best option and here we are : ) Collin (my husband) & I met Carrie & Craig for dinner a few months back to chat and go over basics..make sure we agreed on things too. They are exactly what I was hoping for...it's a match!!
  And to bring everyone up to date: We've done all our lab testing, made sure the four of us aren't crazy via psych testing. I really think whoever came up with the MMPI test must have been a little nutty themselves! I had a HSC done to make sure I could carry again safely, mainly because I have had four c-sections and we all want the best possible environment for these embryos to implant in. The RE said everything was perfect and we moved on to the legal fun.
  As of today contracts are done and we should have them all signed and ready to go within the next few days! Once the clinic receives a copy of the contract we can get to cycling! Here's hoping for a November/December transfer!!

The time in between then & now

 Since my 1st surrogacy we did try again with a 2nd couple. We had one transfer with low grade embryos that did not take. Having to tell my IP's it didn't work was absolutely heartbreaking :( Distance didn't make things easy and we moved on. They have since had 2 healthy children via another carrier. I also did 4 anonymous egg donations, 2 before and 2 after my son was born. I also got married to the love of my life in 2003, about 7 weeks after the twins were born! We've dated off an on since we met at my sisters 13th birthday party. Who've thought after all that here we'd be : )   We have 2 daughters and a son. Michaela is 11.5, Greyson is 5 & Kailyn is 15 months.

My 1st journey

  I will try not to write an entire novel but I feel I should share my first journey since it is what led me to do this next one. I met S&K through an online surrogacy forum in the Fall of 2002. We were an instant match and by November we were cycling. Friday the 13th in December brought the best of luck for us. We transferred 2 perfect little blasts. Within days found out we were pregnant and after a small bleeding scare @ 7wks found out that not only was nothing wrong but there were 2 healthy little beans growing inside me. S&K were going to be parents and it was one of the happiest days of my life! We had a pretty easy pregnancy for twins (aside from an episode of kidney stones..OMG!!). Towards the end my IM would ask the Dr every visit when the boys would be coming. He would go and grab a Magic 8 Ball and tell her to ask it..LOL
  At 34wks5days labor hit and with one call to the Dr they said this was IT..the real IT this time would be delivery day! I was especially excited because the twins were supposed to be a VBAC. But after no further dilation and quite frequent contractions (& back labor) we all agreed to do another c-section. Just after 9am on 7/23/03 two healthy boys were born and two very special people became parents.

  I am extremely blessed for the time my family & I got to spend with S&K and the boys. We stayed in contact and were able to watch those precious babies grow into handsome young boys. Tragically in Spring 2007 my FIM's cancer came back and on May 12, 2007 she became an Angel. Although she took a piece of my heart with her that Mother's Day morning I found out she'd passed, I've made a promise to her that I would do whatever I could to give one more person the blessing I was able to give her.